Partners in Life and in Law

Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone to really make a difference.

I have been working at firms since I graduated law school. Working for someone else. Building someone else's business for them. Having someone else breathing down your neck, checking on your work everyday. Not being able to submit briefs under your own name.

My husband has been a solo-practitioner for the same amount of time.  He has been working for himself since we graduated law school and doing a great job!  

We decided when we were in law school that we worked well together and that we should start our own firm someday. We had plans to call it, McDowell & McDowell.

Looking back, I was just too scared to step out of my comfort zone and take a leap of faith to do it right out of school like my courageous husband did. God knew that.  He placed me in firms where I could get comfortable learning the law under someone else's name.  I don't know if you can really call what I did a leap of faith since God had to almost force me out of a firm recently in order for me to start working with my husband.

But he prepared me for the big day weeks before it happened and by the time it happened, I was ready.  I was actually excited.  After I signed my resignation letter, I smiled all the way to my car.  I had faith that I was doing what God wanted me to do, and I no longer had any fear about the future.

The minute I quit my firm and became partners with my husband, something happened that I did not anticipate.  I felt like a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders.  My husband told me that I looked less stressed and happier instantly. He said he knew exactly what happened when I walked into his office at 3:30pm smiling from ear to ear. My new office building owner told me that same day that I "looked younger." That was I how I felt.  Younger.  Less Stressed. Happier.

If I would have just listened to my husband and God sooner and not given into my fears, I could have avoided two years worth of stress and years worth of aging.

Now it's time ... time to step out of my comfort zone... time to listen to God... and time to make a difference!!   Get ready for McDowell & McDowell, LLC!!

Network Like A Girl

As a professional, and an attorney, I am involved in several organizations.  Each organization has events, committees and other activities to get involved with.  When you get involved, you typically want to get something out of it, right?  Networking is usually that something. 

Webster's Dictionary reports that networking means the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically : the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.  So networking is simply put, building relationships.

So why is it that so many professional women have a hard time networking if it is just building relationships?  Women typically have tons of relationships and close friends don't they? 

The first problem is that women sometimes give off the wrong impression when they are talking to members of the opposite sex.  Times have not changed that much as the majority of professionals, at least the majority of attorneys, are still male.  Males tend to associate a female trying to build a relationship with them as flirting and that they want to do more than just "network." 

In order for a woman to make sure her gestures of professional development are not coming off as flirtatious, sometimes the scales tip too much to the other side and she may instead come off too harsh or aggressive.

This brings us to the second problem women have with networking.  When women are networking, they may come off as aggressive when they know what they want and take steps to get it.   Similarly, a woman asking for a pay raise is going to come off more aggressive than a man asking for a pay raise. It is expected of a man to negotiate his salary, but if a woman does it, it seems like she is doing something wrong. Therefore, most women do not negotiate salaries and even less go to the boss and ASK for a pay raise. This is the sole reason men get paid more than women, because women do not ASK.

If a woman does ask for a pay raise, she can come off as demanding and overpowering. This is similar to a woman approaching a male professional at a social event. She either has to be serious and talk about work or not serious and come off as flirty.  Women who are serious all the time are not always liked by everyone and usually do not get a chance to get to know the males in the office because all they talk about is work and all they do when they are at the office is work. The women who are not serious all the time and spend time around the water cooler at work chatting with co-workers, feel like they are not always taken seriously and have a hard time succeeding in their profession. So women find themselves in a catch 22. 

It comes down to the fact that women have to strike a balance when talking with the opposite sex as a professional. They should not come off too harsh but also not come off too flirty. 

Here are some helpful tips from what I have found works.

(1) if you are married or have a significant other, talk about him.  When the male professional knows how much you love your spouse or significant other, they will most likely not think you are flirting with them. 

(2) Don't stand too close or touch the opposite sex. This may give them the wrong idea and is really not appropriate in a professional relationship.

(3) Never go eat with an opposite sex professional without someone else there with you. Take your spouse, a co-worker, or a friend so that the male professional doesn't get the wrong idea. This is also good in case someone sees you out with the male professional and gets the wrong idea.  

(4) DO talk about something besides work. Learn something about sports, cars, or something male professionals are interested in. That way you will have something else to talk about and it will keep them interested.

(5) Always smile. This makes you seem friendly and not too serious all the time.

The more you get out there and talk to people, the more practice you will have with networking.  It seems the more people you know, the less it looks like you are flirting with everyone as well.  As a professional, it is good to network and meet others in your field or related fields. It's good for marketing yourself, to get more business or clients but it's also good to network for the sole benefit of making you a better you.   So go out there and Network like a Girl!!!

Logicism for Lawyers

President Obama mandated a new federal rule that requires faith-based employers to include birth control and other reproductive services in their health care coverage.  As most know, Catholics are opposed to contraception. In 1968, Pope Paul VI issued his landmark encyclical letter Humanae Vitae (Latin, "Human Life"), which reemphasized the Church’s constant teaching that it is always intrinsically wrong to use contraception to prevent new human beings from coming into existence. (http://www.catholic.com/tracts/birth-control). Roman Catholic leaders morally oppose artificial birth control and related services, and it was reported that they called the rule an infringement on their constitutional rights. 

But the question must be asked, hasn't Obama claimed to be Catholic? If in fact he is Catholic, wouldn't he be against contraception? And if in fact he was against contraception, would he mandate that birth control should be included in health care coverage? 

I know as a Christian, if an issue arose about pro-life or homosexuality, I could not help but vote for the Christian values in that situation because it is what shapes my thoughts and ideas. As such, wouldn't Obama's thoughts and ideas be shaped by Catholicism? 

In this situation, we do not see Obama's Catholic values coming out in his recent mandate. So logically, we would have to question Obama being Catholic since his thoughts and ideas do not exude Catholicism. After putting forth this rule, Obama doesn't seem very catholic does he? 

Christians Are Cool

We have lived at our new apartment now for almost a month. The parking is not great here. You can either park in the front of the building or the back of the building.  The back is kind of scary so we choose to park in the front. The problem with the front is that there is a water hydrant intruding on the availability. Apparently, by law, you can not park within 15 feet in either direction from the water hydrant. 30 feet is a large area that significantly limits the parking area. We have already received one parking ticket for not being 15 feet away even though the measurement was questionable. 

A walkway to the next door apartment is located 15 feet up from the hydrant. We have parked there several times. A "neighbor" from that building recently placed a note on our car  stating that it was "rude and inconsiderate" to park in front of a walkway.. oh and then added, "Have a Blessed Day" signed "Joy."  Today we received another note from Joy stating, "what did you not understand about rude and inconsiderate."  No blessing was given this time.  Another note was also found under the windshield at the same time as Joys, written on a receipt from KMART with a customer name located at the top.  This note stated that they have a handicapped mother and need to use the sidewalk. Of course the note did not fail to say how rude we were for parking there.   After looking up the name on the receipt, I found that the only person in Kansas City with that name is a child sex offender.... great!!  

As keepers of the law, my husband and I know there is not a rule with our apartment complex for not parking in front of a sidewalk. We also understand that when you are handicapped, you should probably use the handicapped parking space located in the parking lot behind the building instead of in front of the building on the street, which is actually further away from the building.   

We actually went over and knocked on the doors in the buidling to find out who Joy was and to tell them to stop touching our car to place notes on it and that there is NOT a rule saying we cannot park in front of a sidewalk. No one answered.  Joy was probably at church.

Lessons:  

(1) It is interesting that Christians, as I assume Joy is since she said "have a blessed day," can be so judgmental and rude to others when they are suppose to be spreading the Gospel. 

(2) You never know who is living right next to you... and a school a block away...illegally until they stupidly place a note on your car. A note written on the back of a receipt with someones personal information on your it.  Of course I am going to turn them in.    

(3) You should probably go sit, have some coffee, and cool off before you decide to go knock on doors and assert your opinions to assumable sex offenders in your area. After having some coffee, we decided it was probably more Christian-like to not go over there because we probably would have gotten into a screaming match with the people. This would be no better than what Joy did in the first place by calling someone rude and inconsiderate and then telling them to have a blessed day. By going over to assert our side, we probably would not be  spreading the gospel and in turn, we would end up doing the same thing they did with us to begin with.  After cooling off, we decided to go to the management to lodge complaints about the people leaving the notes on our car.